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Quote of the day.

The French! Stupit cheese eating surrender monkeys!

- Groundskeeper Willie.

Ahh but don't you love the Irish.

Sooo, if any of you know my friend sheena, her mother, Maggie, who is about as irish as a guiness, in dublin, on st patricks day, had and interesting story the other day.

When Maggie was yound and just married and over frome ireland starting her life in Australia, she went outside to go to work and something stopped her from getting in her car and going to work.

Now as previously mentioned she was from ireland, where apparrently, there are little to no lizards, snakes or reptiles in general. You know it has something to do with st patrick running them ourt of ireland with pipeguns, recket launchers and car bombs.....or not. Anyway.

Poor sweet young maggie rings up her new husband and says, "there's a bleedin dinosaur in the driveway!" At which point the husband is probably thinking "lay off the acid lady", he comes home to find a gecko standing behind her car, looking very proud of itself.

Apparrently she had never seen one before, but imagine the gecko, "Did you hear that dude, she called me a dinosau, and i totally blockaded her car". And all of his mates would be like, "yeah sure, due whatever."

Married stuff, you know.

Sooo, i got married last saturday, that profile pic is of me driving a 69 Vett, my favouritist car in the world.
Me and Queen Gen got married last week, i will put pics up on facebook, but it was freakin awesome, everybody looked fantastic, the food was great, marquee was fantastic, the whole thing went off without a hitch. Aside from the fact that we were draggged a million places for a million different photographs, it was a great night and i think everybody had a ball.
i'm just back after a week off from work and feeling fine.
Everybody keeps asking what it feels like to be married, i just answer 'in love but with bling".

Gen's car is all fixed.

My Dad is awesome, a week after i had pranged gen's car, he had a new front bonnet for it, had fixed any internal damage, and got the bonnet, as well as some other minor bumps and scratches on the front and rear bumpers, completely resprayed. After the car had been resprayed and fixed it still needed a wax, caus the old parts looked, you know old and dirty, and the newly sprayed parts looked, you know,...... New.
Anyhoo, after spending two and a half hours washing waxing and polishing it on thurssday, (there were some marks on the side from a green barina, and a motorcycle peg), the car is now completely flawless.
I'd rather not have crashed the car, but in the end i'm happy that i only had to spen like $950, including insurance, and the car looks absolutely brand new and totally freakin awesome.
Also i busrst two blood blisters on my fingers waxing the car. I told gen who was totally unsympathetic and told me i shouldn't have crashed her car.
....(sigh) she's right, but my fingie hurts (pouts). : (

Easter camp was freaking awesome!


Had a great time at camp on the Easter long weekend. Much drinking and fighting was done by all. Some interesting highlights included, Matt and Trev’s large amounts of lovely home brewed alcohol, in the hand built medieval tavern. Lots of Fighting on the Saturday, including bridge fights, and fort smashing. Seeing Trev’s flail in action was awesome! It totally destroyed the wooden gatehouse. Lots of drunken singing and general debauchery. Great company all weekend, good people. And using a catapult to fling Easter eggs into the forest for an Easter egg hunt, fun for young and old.

brad is a tool.

brad is a massive tool, and should learn to control his road rage.

knifey Spooney

Soo,

Were out for dinner the other night at Gen's Parents House, and we're eating some omlette, chicken, chips and salad.
Gen's brother Addy, looks down whilst eating his chicken and notices, "hey, somehow i've been given two forks".
Addy's wife Bow, who is originally from thailand says "Don't worry baby, i fix it for you".
She comes back into the room looking very pleased at herself for being the dutiful wife, and puts down a spoon next to Addys plate.
We both look at Bow in confusion, she looks at us in confusion, i start laughing.
Addy continues to stare at her and shake his head, which makes me start laughing even harder.
He looks at her and asks, how is that going to help me cut the chicken?
i am now laughing so hard i can't breathe.
Bow looked offended and said, i didn't know,
Addy comments "its ok, She's from thailand, they don't use knifes"
"oh my god, need air, so much laughing."
Bow then went and got him a knife and put it down next to his plate.
By which time Addy had finished devouring the chicken with his two forks.
Addy looked pleased with himself.
Bow looked offended.
A laughed so hard i fell off my chair.

I went to see Amanda Palmer last night and it’s the best concert/performance I’ve ever been too. For those of you who don’t know, Amanda Palmer is one half of the Dresden Dolls, with such classics as Coin operated boy and Girl anachronism.

SHE WAS FANTASTIC!

What a showman (show-woman? Imuno), she smashed at the piano and sang her lungs out like a woman possessed. There was actually veins standing out on her neck and spit flying from her mouth as she sang the songs.

How do I know this you may ask, well because I was merely a meter from her as she was performing. At the last minute our table was cancelled, so they moved us directly in front of the stage. Yay. My knee was actually touching the stage during the performance.

It was at the studio in the opera house, and it was oh so close and intimate and cool.

The show started about 9:30 with a performance by a cellist, who did some of the most impressive work that I’ve listened to since Apocalyptica.

Seriously, she was sampling her own different tunes as she played, looping them back through the computer, and layering it with different cello sounds to create an ad lib symphony, using high notes, low notes, drumming on the cello and tapping her bow across the frame, WOW!

Then the show began in ernest, with Amanda Palmer punching out her songs with so much feeling, emotion and beauty that it almost made me cry (almost mind you, I am a man after all).

They had actors miming different songs, in true performance art style, not just in the shitty liturgical dance way, but in a manner that added a depth meaning and a sense of true story telling to the music.

She talked to the audience, and was cute and funny. She played with the other band members, drawing out solo’s and so on.

She handled hecklers well, when she started to play coin operated boy, she was drawing out the start to add a sense of anticipation, one heckler yelled "get on with it", at which point she raised her eyebrows, pushed the microphone away and began to examine her nails. Then when the audience asked nicely, ie pleeeease play the song, she started again.

Throwing disgusted looks at the other heckler.

Three encores at the end of the show, each one better than the last.

First, run jack run, then she asked for donations for the performance artists, who went through the audience with their shoes, to another song,

THEN!

She came out with a small, teeny tiny guitar, which had "cost her, like 20 bucks" and performed Creep by radio-head as she wandered through the audience, even hugged and kissed a few of them.

After they finally kicked us out of the opera house at like 1:00, Amanda Palmer stayed outside to sign everybody’s cd’s, and take photo’s in front of the Harbour Bridge, giving hugs to all that asked. By 2:00 when we finished up she was stuffed, or a she said when I hugged her, "Fading like a motherfucker!"

BEST SHOW EVER!

Now I’m at work with a massive headache, but it was totally worth it.

Leezards are cool pets!

In response to Jenb's comment on "as if you would have a lizard as a pet"

Gen's brother Addy used to have a torarium for his water dragon, which was named Leezard. It was also albino, and probably the only one of it's kind to ever survive to adulthood in Australia.

Leezard was also an idiot. Addy reckoned that his brain was too small to recognise diferrent people feeding him, However, whan Addy fed him he opened his mouth and ate it, when I fed him I held the meat above his head......nothing, dangled it......nothing, smacked him between the eyes with the meat*..... nothing, eventually he would jump at it..... and miss, then stand on it and smush it into the dirt.

Aside from the fact that he was a moron to feed, Leezard was cool, you could pick him up as he was placid, and being a water dragon he would go for swims about once a day, which looked cool. He used to stand in the most awkward positions when drying himself, and occasionaly he would fall asleep on the edge of the water and the land, and roll into the water with a big splash. then he would jump out quickly and stand on the edge again, perfectly still, dripping wet.... being like, "what,... nothing happened....., you didn't see nothin!" and occasionaly he would randomly attack his reflection.

Also when we first got our kitty we put them on the floor together to see what wold happen, and the kitty walked up and licked him on the nose, then walked off.

Broken Phone?


So,

    Me and Queen Gen are driving along the other day and I receive a text message. Seing as i was driving I asked her to read it for me. She reads it out, but frowns at the screen, and speaks in a grumpy and frustrated tone.

When I ask what's up Queen Gen replies "theres something wrong with your phone, half of the screen is black!"

I was like, "damn, I only got this phone recently, how can it be broken already, I didn't drop it or anything?"

Queen gan then gets out her phone, and says "Hey theres something wrong with my phone as well, oh wait...... Pause....

I'm wearing sunglasses, that's why half of the screen is black."

I laughed, and laughed and laughed.

It was so hard to drive while laughing i veered off the road for a couple of seconds, but no accidents.

DISCLAIMER: Queen Gen is the love of my life, and probably the most intelligent person i know, i tell you of these ditsy moments merely to relay my amusement, and affection for Gen. I also have many ditsy moments.